Pen to Paper or Fingers to Keyboard

Writing blogs.  It is a challenge.  Who am I writing for?  Sometimes it is for myself.  It helps me solidify my ideas, think them through. I haven't solidified my ideas here recently. Maybe it's because they have become less of a priority and are still in flux. I can't show you how many unpublished posts I have.  I do not think it's important that others know what changes have occurred.

Sometimes I think I am writing for other people.  This one is a challenge because I don't know who reads these ramblings of mine.  But I try it anyway, or I don't.  I let it slide.  Is it an exercise in futility? Who knows.

I received an email a few weeks ago asking me to return to writing my anonymous posts for their website.  I finally wrote another brief article for them. I write anonymously there because the topic is painful and close to me and those I love and know.  Others have found them helpful, so I write.

Does this sound like a diary entry?  Maybe it is.  Maybe that is all I have today.

Know that Jesus forgives you all your sin.  

CMP and Me

The summer of 2015 is when the Center for Medical Progress released it's investigative videos into the dark, violent world of Planned Parenthood.  The videos are difficult to watch. Each week, a new video was released. I began to post the videos and articles on my Facebook page.  There were daily articles that I would post. Anger and frustration began to rise within me.  The more those around me seemed to be blissfully callous, the more my frustration rose, the more frequently I posted.  I finally decided I wanted to help locally, so I called the Pregnancy Resource Center in town.

My appointment day arrived and I walked into the PRC office.  I spoke with the director for an hour, telling her I wanted to help as a result of the CMP videos that came out over the summer. Then she asked me to tell her about my abortion.  I couldn't hold back the tears as I relayed my story. At the end of the appointment, she asked if I would like to participate in a CARE group, a six week book study.

In the group, I was able to walk through the process of grieving and my Facebook postings stopped almost immediately.  After 30 years of hiding this shameful act that society does not want to hear about, I was able to talk about it with others who are also post abortive.

I fear I offended some of my dear friends on Facebook due to my early postings.  I am apologizing to you now.  Please don't hesitate to speak with me.  I am no longer beside myself.