CMP and Me

The summer of 2015 is when the Center for Medical Progress released it's investigative videos into the dark, violent world of Planned Parenthood.  The videos are difficult to watch. Each week, a new video was released. I began to post the videos and articles on my Facebook page.  There were daily articles that I would post. Anger and frustration began to rise within me.  The more those around me seemed to be blissfully callous, the more my frustration rose, the more frequently I posted.  I finally decided I wanted to help locally, so I called the Pregnancy Resource Center in town.

My appointment day arrived and I walked into the PRC office.  I spoke with the director for an hour, telling her I wanted to help as a result of the CMP videos that came out over the summer. Then she asked me to tell her about my abortion.  I couldn't hold back the tears as I relayed my story. At the end of the appointment, she asked if I would like to participate in a CARE group, a six week book study.

In the group, I was able to walk through the process of grieving and my Facebook postings stopped almost immediately.  After 30 years of hiding this shameful act that society does not want to hear about, I was able to talk about it with others who are also post abortive.

I fear I offended some of my dear friends on Facebook due to my early postings.  I am apologizing to you now.  Please don't hesitate to speak with me.  I am no longer beside myself.

Cool Lutherans

One of my friends, Tracy, had a temporary roommate.  Tracy's roommate was finishing up a job assignment in town, while her retired husband was at their new home in another state.  June was going to be joining him as soon as her job assignment was complete.

Our small group from church will do things together outside of just doing church-y things.  We attended a dinner and a play together and June came along.  She came to our house when we had bible study here.  It was after we finished studying the Gospel of John and decided we would compare it to the movie, "Son of God."  We had dinner together and watched the movie over two weeks' of meetings. We are a group that likes to laugh and have fun, as well as dig into scripture.

At our last weekly meeting, where we are beginning to study Ruth, Tracy reported that June is happily in her new place and adjusting to their new life in their new community.  June and her husband decided they would look for a Lutheran church because she thought we were so cool as a group.  We whooped it up and praised God when we heard this news.  We were chuckling at the thought of someone thinking we are cool.  I think she was attracted to the Jesus in us, the delight we can have in being with one another, we were just being ourselves.  No program, no agenda, just sinners learning of their Savior.

Tell Me Again!

I was gobstopped.  I couldn't open my mouth to brush aside the compliment because I was speechless. It was one of the best compliments I have had.  "What happened to you?  You look like Jesus."  At that moment, I felt like my feet did not touch the earth.  I look like my God and Savior.

Over the weekend I heard these sweet words from my loving Larry, "I want to take you to this restaurant I like."  It was the "I want to take you..." that melted my heart.  He was bringing me into his work world and wanting to show me a place he appreciates.  I was being included in one of the highlights of his working world.  Unfortunately, that restaurant was closed so we will share it another day.

From our amazing daughter I heard, "You should do that, Mom!"  I was telling her about ways of expanding and creating a business.  Such words of encouragement and support from one so young, yet she has much wisdom.  She often amazes me with her incredible insights into people.  With that kind of insight, she makes a terrific daughter and friend, and one day she will be a terrific wife and mother.

Monday, after telling a friend that I had not gone to church but didn't know why I was telling him that, he said, "For the sake of Jesus' innocent suffering and death our Father forgives you all your sin in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."  Then after awhile he said, "You confessed to me so I could tell you that."  They were words I needed to hear.  Jesus forgives me.

Our families should be the place where we speak God's forgiveness to one another.  Oftentimes we don't do so, because this is the place where buttons are pushed and hurts are grasped like an outfielder catching a baseball.  Family is where we can practice our Christian lives with those closest to us.  If you are harboring hurt and anger, take it to Jesus.  As often as it comes into your thoughts, take it to Jesus. Over and over.

Then speak sweet words of forgiveness to your family members and friends.  Again and again give the words of absolution, the sweetness of the gospel.  Become liberal in your sowing of grace. Watch as hearts melt from receiving the needed good news,  including your own.

Christians Are Hypocrites

Did I get your attention?  Good!  Then this is written for you.

Have you ever said thought that Christians are a bunch of hypocrites?  Have you thought it? You've witnessed Christians behaving badly toward others.  Perhaps even toward you.  You've heard cutting, harmful words, maybe those were spoken to you as well.  Christians are supposed to behave better, right? Christians should be the most moral people on the planet.

If you've thought that about Christians, I'll let you in on an oft-kept secret. Christianity isn't about living the most moral life imagineable. Let me reword it to be sure you heard it. Christianity isn't limited to morality.
We aren't the moral majority.  We're the forgiven majority.

Christianity is about forgiveness. Forgiveness of our sin and hatred of God. The difference between Christians and others is:  Forgiveness received through faith in Jesus Christ.

That forgiveness exists for you as well.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUJeOb1-mZ0

Christmas Shoes

You know who I'm talkin' about.  It's the people that get new Sunday duds twice a year.  That's right, the people that attend church at Christmas and Easter.  They show up as part of their family tradition, so church continues to make memories.  It makes them feel good about God twice during the year.  And they take our favorite pew to rub salt into the wound!

I have an inkling why they only attend twice a year.  It's the two times a year they are guaranteed to hear about why Jesus came to the earth.  So often our churches are full of sermons that could have been plucked off the self-help shelf at our local bookstore. How to Have a Happy Marriage; Five Ways to Bring Up Your Children; Twenty Best Kept Secrets to Be a Cheerful Giver.  All things that are supposed to improve your life or make you happier.  Funny thing is, they don't work.

At Christmas services, we are guaranteed that we will hear about Jesus.  There will be the familiar passage in Luke's Gospel of Jesus' birth.  It is read far and wide, in every Christian pulpit.  Those people will see Jesus' love for them as He incarnates and creation celebrates His arrival.  They will see God's sovereignty displayed in a baby lying in a manger, a feedstall, who had a scandalous virgin birth.  Can you hear the whispers of Mary's neighbors?  "She's pregnant.  She's no virgin! Shameful!"  

They will also hear that Jesus is their Savior, sent from our Heavenly Father, and how he receives worship from all of creation.  The angels celebrate, the shepherds, the magi, even the animals.  They will see how great the Father's love is that he has lavished on us.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,  which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight  making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ ~ Ephesians 1:7-9
They won't know these things unless somebody tells them.  Welcome them into your churches.  It is a wonderful thing they have arrived!  They have come and will hear about salvation!

And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” ~Romans 10:15

Put on your best Christmas shoes and join the celebration!

Living Picture

Every Sunday the scene is the same.  It is like clockwork.  This white-haired, humble couple walks up the center aisle and sits on the left hand pew.  It is always the same pew, the second one.  It is always the same spot, near the edge.  He leads her to their place, then takes her walker and places it where she can easily grasp it later.

Some Sundays she can stand up with the congregation, and other Sundays she cannot. He is always at her side, like a mirror.  Standing or remaining seated.  Holding hands. Encouraging. Never embarrassed by his bride.

Several Sundays, Pastor and the elders have had to come to them as they did not go forward for communion.  They could not.  She could barely lift her head.  He remained faithful by her side.  We all waited as they received from Jesus what we had already received, His Body and Blood.

Last Sunday, they were sitting in their pew, their place.  He placed her walker, as has become their custom, in an attainable place.  The time for communion came, and he helped her to her walker.  Together they approached the Lord's Table, together they received communion.  He helped her back to their pew, their place.  I watched with tears welling in my eyes.

What a beautiful picture of Jesus and His Bride is this couple.  They do not know how many people watch his tenderness to her, and see how she is so dependent upon him.  We, too, are dependent on our Savior, our true husband, for everything.

Thank you, Jesus, for this living picture of you.

Life Strains and Strangeness

Suffering is something common to every human being.  We all know it very well.  Rather than facing it we will try to make it go away in many fashions.  Busy-ness, mind altering drugs or alcohol, working too many hours, avoiding thinking about what pains us can be a costly ordeal.  Not just in finances, either.

In Christian circles, it is often not okay to suffer.  We don't want to hear of others' pain, and we don't want to reveal ours for fear of looking weak and needing help.  When I am too honest, I have experienced people shutting me out of groups, or just trying to shut me up by talking on top of me or giving me some kind of Christian cliche.  

Suffering comes to each of us in different ways.  It can become our undoing, as well as the beginning of new freedom.  Yes, freedom.  Suffering allows us to let go of all things and cling to Christ.  That is true freedom.


“God is not interested in what you think you should be or feel. He is not interested in the narrative you construct for yourself, or that others construct for you. Rather, He is interested in you, the you who suffers, the you who inflicts suffering on others, the you who hides, the you who has bad days (and good ones). And He meets you where you are.”    from "Glorious Ruin:  How Suffering Sets Us Free", Tullian Tchividjian

The Fear that Drives Franticness

Recently I was listening to a podcast by Dr. Robert Newton, Faith For Today, specifically "Scattered Like Seed."   He was discussing his first missionary experience in the Philippines.  It is very apropos for most of us today.

Dr. Newton had to find the sin that is common among the people he wanted to reach.  Today, I think our western culture suffers from a common sin.  You see it in the frantic pace we live.  We are told in commercials that we are never good enough, we fall short of the "American Dream" of having it all.  We see it in our church cultures:  "Our church isn't growing, lets do something!"  And we become program driven.

I see many families who forgo church attendance, thinking they are doing their children a favor by enrolling them in sports activities that compete for their Sunday mornings.  I see churches trying all kinds of different programs and activities, that can become overwhelming and very taxing on the servants in the church.

The fear that drives our frenetic pace in life is not believing our Heavenly Father will give us what we need, so we take things into our own hands.  Believe His promise to us.  He will provide.  

We are forgiven for our sin of not trusting our Father.  Rest in that and find peace.

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.

To Suffer the Kindness of Friends

Jumping jacks.   Suffering kindness of friends feels like jumping jacks.  From fetal position to standing upright, repeat and repeat.  Rejection feels insurmountable and unbearable.  It brings back horrible memories of Junior High School, when one of your friends tells you, "I don't want to hang around you anymore because you are boring."  At least she had the balls to tell me why she was rejecting me; others just disappear into thin air. Why am I treated thusly?  What have I done?  No words of explanation come.  Then I retreat back to the emotional fetal position.

Today  my True Friend told me the truth:

And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys.  He had also seven sons and three daughters.  And he called the name of the first daughter Jemimah, and the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-happuch. And in all the land there were no women so beautiful as Job's daughters. And their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers.  And after this Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons, and his sons' sons, four generations. And Job died, an old man, and full of days.

Job's daughters are named, and are included in an inheritance.  My True Friend calls me by my name, has given me a wonderful inheritance, and He calls me beautiful.

I wept and worshipped.  Praise Him!

Mulberry Bushes and Weasels

Recently, I have been listening to brothers and sisters in Christ struggling with what exactly is the gospel, the good news, that we have the joy of telling others. I hear "Repent and believe" is the gospel.  But is it really?

"Repent and believe."
"Believe what?"
"Believe the gospel."
"What is the gospel?"
"Repent and believe."
"Believe what?"
"Believe the gospel."
"What gospel?"
"Repent and believe."

over and over and over....

The trench going around the mulberry bush gets deeper and deeper as it goes round and round and never arriving at a destination.  Let me be the weasel and pop you out of that trench.  The gospel is the good news that your sins are forgiven for the sake of Christ Jesus!  Get out of the ditch, and proclaim good news to those who are broken and burdened.  The gospel is not "Repent and believe,"  it is "Your sins are forgiven because of Jesus!"  Go, and create faith in your neighbor and free them from bondage by proclaiming what Jesus has done.

Pop!

Run Away!

There's a famous scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail where the knights encounter a killer rabbit.  The end of the scene is the famous line, "Run away!  Run away!"  I think about this line often when I am talking to fellow Christians.

Like Moses, we want to run away from the task God gives us to do.... preach good news and make disciples.  We come up with all kinds of excuses to not partake of the joy found in setting others free.  I am saying "we" because I include myself.  "That's the evangelism committee's job."  "I'm not an evangelist, I don't have that gift."  "I tried it once and I was very uncomfortable."   "I have other things to tend to."  Freedom, and the reaction others have to it,  is intimidating.  Freedom as a believer is still scary.

Many people react poorly to the news that their sins are forgiven for Christ's sake.  "Who me?  I'm not a sinner you dirty so-and-so Christian," said through gritted teeth.  But joy comes when one who receives the the good news of Jesus' forgiveness and has then found freedom and pardon!  Truly, who would not want to participate in that gift?  To see another sinner set free is joy.

Jesus told the demon possessed man to return to the people who chained him and ostracized him.  His assignment:  to set them free too (Luke 8:26-39).  Who are you to go to to set free with the good news of Jesus Christ's forgiveness?  Experience that joy!

Nobody Listens to Me, and other lies

"Why don't they listen to me?  I have some things they could hear.  They listen to other people."  And here begins the party of pity.  Particularly when discussing theological ideas we want others to believe the same way we do, come hell or high water.  Oftentimes, both hell and high water arrive on the scene of the conversation.  "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll go eat some worms" says the schoolyard rhyme.  We've all been in that schoolyard.

We cannot force people to believe or hear us.  That is the job of the Holy Spirit.  We need to repent of the jealousy that comes along with our words being rejected while they listen to our friends.  We become jealous of our friends who have gained an audience.  May the Holy Spirit bless THAT conversation.

Our children appear to us as if they left the faith.  We have done all that we can as parents, and even what we have done is not perfect.  We are sinners teaching other sinners.  Pray for your child that they can hear the words of another prophet that brings them Good News of Jesus' forgiveness.  May the Holy Spirit bless THAT conversation.

The job given to us is to bring Jesus before the eyes and ears of others.  Leave the results with the Holy Spirit.  He points to Jesus perfectly, sometimes through us, sometimes through others, sometimes through Word and Sacrament.  Bring your family and friends before the throne of God.  He is good at recovering His sheep.

I am reminding myself of this as much as I am reminding you.  Here is the good news for you and me:  Jesus forgives you of your jealousies and frustrations.  He took that upon himself on the cross, so you can be free and joyful. He is faithful.  Praise Him!

Confession is Good

Why people confess things to me, I don't know.  Maybe it is because I make a conscious effort not to repeat what is confessed.  Maybe others think I am safe.  I am not safe.  And I will use what others have told me without revealing who, in order to write this post.  Unsure of how to respond to some of these admissions, I often feel like a cow staring at a new gate. 

One Christian confesses, "I am reading 50 Shades of Gray.  I love it.  That is how twisted I am."

Another bashfully chuckles to me, "What if I like my sin?"

I listen dumbfounded.  I want to tell them both to go take a long walk off a short pier.  I want to tell them to repent.  Maybe I should do both of those things.  I wonder if Pastors think the way I am thinking.  I become angry and have to confess my own sin.  

These are confessions that tell me these statements are not of faith.  They are admitting to rebellion and lawlessness; faithlessness.  On these admissions, they have believed the lie of Satan that Christian freedom means abandonment of the bounds of love; choosing self justification instead of love of neighbor.  It is hard to listen to because it is on these points that relationships are severed, as it breaks our unity in Christ Jesus.

Be sure you hear me on this:  I am not saying they are not Christians.  I am saying on these admissions, they need Christ's absolution.

One good brother, gave me this advice:  Tell them the gospel of forgiveness of sin.  They will either receive it, or stop making confessions to you.

Thank you, brother, for teaching me how to hear these things from others; and how to minister to their unbelief by pointing them back to Jesus.

Blazing Clear Like Oedipus Rex

It is our human condition.  Pagans know it.  We all know it.  We all try to run and hide from it. We run and run, sometimes exhausting ourselves.  Rushing to and fro until we can rush no longer.  But there is nowhere to find shelter.  We are in a flight situation.  Fleeing without destination.  Fleeing for life and limb.  What are we trying to hide from?

 It is guilt and shame.  We all have it because we are all guilty.  We all have pasts we would like to erase.   Even the goody two-shoes have guilt and shame.  Oedipus, the pagan king, had guilt and shame.  He tried to outrun it by gouging out his eyes.  That did not absolve Oedipus from any of his actions, though. Oedipus knows that he is the man.  There is a deeper, underlying question that pagans cannot answer.

Who are we trying to hide from?  We are trying to hide from the true God.  Sophocles, the author of Oedipus, just like all of humanity, had God's law written on his heart and knew right from wrong as is evidenced by the play.  Here are some excerpts:

"My birth all sprung revealed from those it never should; myself entwined with those I never could; and I the killer of those I never would."

Oedipus rips the golden brooches she was wearing, holds them up, and rams them home right through his eyes.

"O yes, I pierced my eyes -- my useless eyes --why not?  When all that's sweet and parted from my vision."

Sophocles lived before Jesus' incarnation, and it was the Jews that had prophets proclaiming the revealed God of promise.  Today, unlike Sophocles' day, we have more preachers who can deliver to us the justifying God.  You do not have to be like Oedipus, beating yourself up, exhausting yourself, damaging yourself because you know that you, too, are the guilty one.  You can find your rest from your guilt and shame that continues to haunt you.

The promise of God has come.  Jesus, the one true God, has forgiven you your sins.

My Joy

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18

I have a friend like that. It does not matter what I say to this friend, he never rejects me. Fairweather friends are many. Some linger awhile longer, some leave quickly. Some take and take, without giving. A listening ear is all that they want, without having to listen in return. For some, the newness wears off and they wander to chase a newer bauble. I am not a bauble, so I bid them farewell and Godspeed.

My brother-friend told me that I should expect to be rejected and despised. Those things should not surprise me, but somehow they always do. When life becomes challenging, my one true friend doesn't leave. He listens to all my whining and heartaches. Patiently, he listens and shows me my faults. Even bringing up embarrassing emotions, he shows me without shaming me and listens. I am so thankful for this friend that sticks closer than a brother.

Do you know him? His name is Jesus.

He told me long ago that he was despised and rejected, and all of us that belong to Him should not expect to be treated any differently. Thank you, Jesus, for sticking closer to me than a brother. For being the faithful One that loves me, with all my faults and imperfections. He loves you, too, dear reader. Praise God!

The Reality

Types and shadows are in the Old Testament. They point to the promised Messiah. Then Jesus arrives on the scene. He brings the real deal. The shadows are brought into the light, no longer hidden.

Jesus would not institute a type or a shadow. He brings with him grace and truth. Jesus brings us gifts. The gift of salvation, the gift of baptism, the gift of new life, the gift of remission of sins, the gift of The Lord's Supper, and many more that I have not named. Dear reader, please remind me of the other gifts Jesus gives us in your comments!

These gifts are all grace. Jesus brings to us good things that we don't deserve. This is the reality. It is not a type or a shadow. Types and shadows are done away with because Jesus, our reality, is here.

I am baptized! Thank you Jesus for your grace and truth.

Grace

The term "grace" is used often by Christians. When asked to define grace, the hemming and hawing often begins. Let's look at the different definitions that are given to the biblical idea of grace.

A Roman Catholic will say grace is infused through the sacraments ex opere operato, which means "from the work done." The work that was done was Christ's death, burial, and resurrection. Roman Catholics believe the efficacy of God's grace is to be found in the sacraments. The sacraments are infused with God's grace, so upon receiving of the sacraments one has received God's Grace. Grace becomes an enabling force to live a more holy life.

A Wesleyan, or Arminian, believes grace is an innate object, a mysterious operating mechanism that provides power to choose salvation. This power is given without the preached Gospel, and without the sacraments. This infused grace is given by God to all people. Grace allows one to overcome sin.

A Calvinist believes grace is received upon the preached Word, without the Sacraments. This definition allows one to choose God. It is the I in the acronym TULIP. This is a secret working of the Holy Spirit. Grace gives power to have victory over sin.

All three of these views make man the one who chooses faith. All three of these see sin as a problem to be overcome by infusion of grace. In other words, to overcome sin, we need God's grace. Then faith becomes predominantly about our own moral improvement; and forgiveness of sin is tangential. Inward gazing becomes the focus of faith, and the rule by which to judge one another.

Grace is God's attitude toward us: God loving us while we were his enemy; dying for us on the cross.